


Don't Hate The Player, Hate The Game

by annabellelux



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Clueless Simon, Confessions, Drinking, Happy Ending, M/M, One Shot, Party Games, Plot, Smut, TW: Homophobia, TW: Outed Characters, Truth or Dare, pining Baz, truth spell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 18:40:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabellelux/pseuds/annabellelux
Summary: A game of Truth or Dare gets out of hand when Penny casts "Don't Hate The Player, Hate The Game" on the group, forcing them to tell the truth and carry out dares.Baz isn't quite sure how he's getting out of this one without spilling any of his many secrets, and Simon doesn't even know his secret.





	Don't Hate The Player, Hate The Game

**Author's Note:**

> I've been trying to write this for weeeeeeeks man. I love party game fics so much I had to write one. Plus, I needed smut practice for my other fic, So here we are. (Don’t worry tho it’s mostly plot). Hope you enjoy!!
> 
> PLEASE READ!!!  
TW: homophobia and use of f slurs  
TW: Character outing (With no malice, but please don’t read if this is a big issue for you. I go into this in the end notes)

**Simon**

I can feel how much I’m annoying Penny, but I can’t seem to stop talking. 

“No, listen, Penny,” I insist. I’ve lost count on how many times we’ve had this discussion this week. “If you could just talk to her, and find out if she likes Baz-”

Penny slams her hand on the table, and our glasses rattle and people nearby begin to stare. “That’s it. You’ve reached your Baz and Agatha quota for the week. No, the _month._”

She looks properly put out. I think right about now, she’s wishing I’ll revert to first year Simon who communicated almost exclusively in shrugs and grunts. “Penny-” I try to interrupt.

“I’m not joking, Simon!” She yells, and I feel my face turn red as I realize that everyone in the dining hall is now staring at our display. I turn to my right to check- and, yes, Baz is leveling me with a glare. I frown back and he smirks. 

Penny follows my gaze, sighing when she reaches my target. “Si,” she says softly. “You know I love you, and want what’s best for you. And this break-up really is what's best for you.”

I frown. I know Penny’s never exactly been on board with me and Agatha as a couple. It used to vex Aggie to no end, because she’s jealous and thinks Penny and I are secretly in love or something. She’s usually so docile, but when she found out that Penny regularly sneaks into my bedroom, I honestly thought she was going to punch us both in the face. She barely spoke to us for a week. But Pen and I are not like that- we’re like siblings. Agatha never listened to that, always saying that we were obviously so much closer to one another than to her. Which, well, sure, but Penny’s _my best friend_. Agatha has her own Normal friends- that Mindy girl. Or maybe it was Mandy. Whatever.

Penny thinks we don’t belong together because we don’t have the ‘spark’. Until our breakup, Penny has only voiced her opinion about our relationship out loud once, in 5th year, when Aggie and I first got together. Though I swear I’ve caught her thinking about it a hundred times since. We have Best Friend Telepathy, so I know that when she's looking at us, and has her mouth in a thin line and her hand on her chin, she’s thinking that Agatha and I are wrong for one another.

What she said in fifth year has stuck with me, though. So much so that I remember word for word what she said: ‘Simon, the two of you are lovely as friends, but you don’t have it.’ I asked her what ‘it’ even meant. ‘When you really want to be with someone, it’s like gravity. Like they’re the sun and you’re orbiting around them. Kissing them is like oxygen; you want it so badly you think you might die without it. And I don’t think you should settle for anything less than someone who sets you on fire.’

I think I responded with something along the lines of, ‘Penny, you’ve been reading too many romance novels. But speaking of fire, do you think Baz is flammable if he’s a vampire?’. That effectively shut that discussion down. I had hit my quota that day, too. 

“I know what you think, Pen. But we’re destiny. We have to be. If we’re not…” I trail off. I don’t know what happens if we’re not. What I’m hoping for. Who will be my family after Watford, when Penny moves to America with Micah.

“There’s a party tonight,” Penny changes the subject so quickly I get whiplash. 

“What?” I say dumbly.

“Back to school party in the Wavering Wood. Keris and Trixie were telling me about it this morning. We should go.” She says, casually, like this is a normal thing for her to suggest.

“You hate parties.” I say suspiciously.

“Do not.” She says with a sip of her tea. She always puts something in her mouth- food, drink, her fingernails- when she’s lying. It’s her tell. I narrow my eyes at her.

“Do too. You hate people.” I insist.

She sighs, and concedes, “Fine, I hate parties. And people. But I like alcohol. And I like cheering my best friend up after a hard week.”

“Are-” I stop myself from finishing that sentence with ‘Baz and Agatha going to be there’, trying to respect the quota. I rephrase the question. “Who's going to be there?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. They were telling me about this party while half naked in Trixie’s bed, so I high-tailed it out of it. Honestly, it’s unfair that Keris sleeps in my room without any punishment just because she’s a girl too. Why do gay people get to have all the fun?”

“Okay, one, that is historically false and you know it.” I say, “and, two, your boyfriend is in Chicago. How exactly do you reckon you’d manage to sneak him in your room from across the Atlantic?”

Penny throws her hands up. “It’s the principle of the thing! What if Baz was shagging a bloke in your room?”

I’m not homophobic, but for some reason the idea of Baz with some nameless, faceless guy makes my stomach churn painfully. If Baz were gay, his type would probably be some eloquent, smart, posh wanker who he could show off at the Club. I’m so deeply uncomfortable with the image of Baz with this hypothetical bloke, that I concede to Penny, “okay, fair point, but still off topic.”

“Okay, I really don’t think Baz and Agatha will be there,” Penny says, knowing what my real unspoken question was. Like I was saying, Best Friend Telepathy. “Neither of them are particularly social, and Aggie doesn’t like to drink very much.”

“Baz does.” I say, remembering that time I found him drunk, singing nursery rhymes in the catacombs. 

“Well, yes, but he has exactly two friends, so I don’t think he’ll come.” Penny replies.

“You only have two friends,” I reason.

“Two and a half. But, Crowley, can we please just go? It’ll be fun, and you need fun.” Penny says with a slight pout. That’s how I know she’s going to win this argument. She saves her pouts for when she really needs them, because they always sway me.

“Fine,” I finally give in, “Let’s go to this stupid party.”

* * *

**Baz**

I really didn’t plan on coming to this party. But for some reason, when Niall asked me, I said ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’. 

I’m going to pretend to myself that it has nothing to do with what I overhead this morning at breakfast. Like it has nothing to do with a newly single but still devastatingly straight and unattainable Simon Snow agreeing to come to this party, sans Wellbelove. 

Because that would be masochistic. And pathetic. And I’m a Pitch, so I am neither of those things.

I’m two drinks in when Simon Snow emerges from the woods, and my eyes snap to follow him immediately. I can see him before he sees me- vampire vision- and my stream of consciousness is _fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-_

Because, for once, he’s not wearing the school uniform. He must have borrowed someone else’s clothes, because I’ve never seen him in anything but the uniform and the ratty clothing from the homes the Mage sends him to every summer. He’s wearing dark fitted jeans that make his arse look amazing. He’s paired it with a blue T-shirt that matches his eyes perfectly and a brown leather jacket. Snow looks like he actually did his hair for once, his curls bouncy and full on his head. He’s got his arm around Bunce and he’s smiling his carefree smile. My favorite one.

Fuck, he looks good. I’m so glad he came. I’m so mad he came.

_Okay_, my slightly inebriated brain admits, _maybe I am a little bit of a pathetic masochist._

I turn back to the group conversation I was a part of so I don’t have to look at him anymore, but I can still hear him.

“Penny,” he hisses in a low, panicked voice, and I hear him stop walking, “you said neither of them would be here, and they’re both here.”

“I said I didn’t think they would be here. But I’m not a fortune teller, am I?” Bunce retorts.

Simon makes an indignant noise and Bunce sighs loudly. 

“Simon, you slayed a dragon at 11 year old. In the last three years, the goblins have tried to kill you at least two dozen times. I’ve seen you single-handedly demolish half a block of gremlins in 60 seconds. You can handle your ex girlfriend and your roommate.”

“No I can’t.” He whines to her.

Because I am a constant disappointment to myself, I turn to look at him again, and catch him looking right at me. It always sends a thrill up my spine when I catch him already staring when I go to glance at him. He’s got wide eyes, until he sees me, and then he narrows them and frowns. I give him a sarcastic little wave and he growls.

I choke back laughter as I turn around.

“C’mon, let’s get a drink Simon. That’ll calm you down some. What do you want?” Bunce’s says, and drags a sullen Snow out of my presence. I am equal parts relieved and disappointed.

I’m sipping my third cocktail an hour later when I hear Keris’s loud voice. “**Listen Up**,” she casts, and everyone turns to her. “We’re starting a game of Truth or Dare, who wants to play?”

“Baz,” Dev says, tugging at my sleeve, “let's play.”

“What?” I say, annoyed. I pull my sleeve out of his grip. “No, what are we, twelve?”

“C’mon, mate. I need you to dare me to kiss Agatha.” Dev replies. 

“I repeat, are we twelve?” Dev glares at me. I sigh, seeing that he’s deadly serious about getting the chance to snog Wellbelove. “Get Niall to do it.” I say. 

“No, I need you. She doesn’t know you’re- you know.” He says, meaning ‘gay’, but not saying it aloud as to not out me. “I want her to know you don’t want her. You see the way she stares at you.”

I do. Though, that’s my fault, at least partially. I think she thinks I’m looking at her when I’m looking at Snow. 

“Fine, but you owe me, and you can’t pick me for any of your turns.” I stipulate.

Dev claps me on the back and smiles at me crookedly. “Good man.” He says and I smirk.

“Damn straight.” I respond as we walk over to the Truth or Dare circle beginning to form. I notice, with a swooping sensation in my gut, that Bunce is dragging Snow over to the game as well. She should really get a leash for him, the way she dictates his every move.

“Okay,” Keris says with a smile, “who wants to start?”

“Wait,” Bunce says, smiling deviously, “Let’s make this interesting.” She does a circle motion with her violet ring, and casts, “**Don’t hate the player, hate the game.**”

Oh, fuck.

**Penny**

No point in playing this game with liars. The spell will make certain that everyone carries out their truth or dare without cheating.

“**Ground rules**,” I say with magic. Since I cast the spell, I get to make the rules.** “Nothing that will seriously injure or kill anyone, nothing more sexual than kissing, and no telling anyone outside the circle that I cast this spell.”**

The first two are because this spell has a long history of seriously getting out of hand, and the last is so that no one snitches. This spell isn’t exactly legal. The Coven wouldn’t be happy to know a bunch of drunk teenagers played it on school property.

Trixie smiles wolfishly at me, apparently impressed with my initiative. “Penny,” she says, “I didn’t know you were so cool.”

I don’t bother answering. I glance at Agatha. She doesn’t look particularly nervous. But when I look at Baz, I can see his brows are furrowed and he’s biting his lip. He must be worried about the vampire thing.

I whisper low to Simon, though I know Baz will be listening, “that means no revealing secrets that will seriously injure or kill anyone, either.” Then I look to Baz, to signal that he can relax about Simon making Baz admit to being a vampire. Though, oddly, the tension in Baz's shoulders doesn’t dissipate whatsoever.

Keris says, “Baz,” apparently deciding she’ll be the one to go first.

Baz’s face appears impassive, though his jaw is clenched. Simon told me once that Baz's jaw clenching is his tell; he's still nervous about being asked something. He contemplates his decision for a moment before saying, “Truth.”

Keris smiles, pleased with his response. “Who do you think is the fittest girl at Watford?”

“I don’t know,” Baz responds, unclenching his jaw and appearing bored. 

“You have to tell the truth, Baz.” Trixie says with a frown. 

“That’s the truth." Baz says, raising a single eyebrow. "I don’t know. No one.” 

Simon scoffs. “He’s such a prick.” He says, “he probably knows a counterspell.” 

There is no counter spell. That had to have been the truth. He doesn’t have an opinion on the fittest girl at Watford. Agatha is frowning, displeased by his indifference, but he doesn’t spare her a glance. Now that I think of it, he hasn’t seemed to look at her at all since she and Simon broke up. 

Huh.

“Dev,” Baz says as he turns to face his cousin sitting beside him, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Truth or Dare.”

“Dare,” Dev says, a little too quickly.

Baz considers, or more like pretends to consider, and says, “I dare you to kiss Wellbelove.” It’s obvious, to me anyways, this was pre-arranged. 

There are whoops and cheers from the circle- well, from everyone but Simon, Baz, and I anyways. Simon and Baz are glaring at one another as Dev crawls over to kiss Agatha. Simon doesn’t even look at their closed mouth 5 second kiss. His eyes are glued on Baz the whole time. He doesn’t notice Aggie until the whole things over, and she’s said “Penny?”

“Yeah, Ags?” I say neutrally. She’s looking at me suspiciously.

“Truth or Dare?” Her voice is a little higher than usual, the way it does when she’s nervous. 

“Truth,” I say, to see if she’s going to ask what I think she’s going to ask.

“Do you fancy Simon?”

“Aggie!” Simon sputters and turns bright red, but I just laugh.

“Predictable as always, Agatha.” She glares icily at me. “I’m joking, Crowley. For the thousandth time, no. Simon is like my brother.” I pause. “Except a brother whose company I actually enjoy.”

Simon laughs at my diss at Premal, and says, “thanks, Pen.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” I warn.

Simon’s eyes go wide. “Penny, remember, I’m like a brother to you.”

“Oh, Simon. Brothers are made for teasing and humiliating.” I smile. “Truth or Dare?”

Simon looks nervous, and says, unsure, “...truth?”

That works. “Have you ever been in love?”

“Penny, really!” Agatha yells, angrily. Everyone else laughs though. 

“Don’t be hypocritical, Aggie, you just tried to catch me in a lie about fancying Simon. You don’t really have a leg to stand on about romantic lines of questioning.” I say with a wave of my ringless hand.

“You know I have, Pen.” Simon says, confused. 

“So...yes?” I ask, shocked.

“Yes! It’s yes.” Simon looks annoyed with me, probably because I still have furrowed brows. “I’ve told you a million times.” He mutters quietly so only I can hear him.

This isn’t right. I know Simon’s not in love with Agatha. I can tell. It’s so obvious if you’re actually paying attention, and I always am. If not her, then, who…?

“Baz, truth or dare?” Simon says harshly.

Baz cocks his head, studying Simon. Then, he says, with a smirk, “dare.”

Simon frowns. He clearly wanted Baz to choose truth.

“I, uh, I dare you, to, uh-” Simon stammers.

“Please, Snow, today.” Baz says, venomously.

“I dare you to let me leave the window open at night.” Simon snaps. 

“Crowley, Snow.” Baz says, rolling his eyes, dramatically, “This is a party game, not a way to get me to agree to your petty requests.”

“I. Dare. You.” Simon snarls. 

“Bunce said that these dares can’t kill us. You can’t try to off me by freezing me to death.” He’s examining his nails, trying to appear bored, but the tense set of his jaw and shoulders is giving him away.

“Do you accept the dare or not, you fucking prick?” Simon says too loudly. Everyone in the circle looks uncomfortable. The saga that is the Baz Pitch and Simon Snow rivalry can be quite difficult to witness at times.

“Crowley, fine, you can keep the bloody window open. You’re such a child.” Baz says with a huff.

Simon is seething, and Baz is glaring at him. The tension in the circle is palpable, but it’s like Baz and Simon don’t even notice. They’re just looking at one another like they can’t even tell anyone else else is there...

Merlin and Morgana, is it possible…?

Someone clears their throat, and Baz snaps out of it. He turns to Gareth, who’s then dared to do a 10 second keg stand. When he comes down, he’s looking tipsy. It’s confirmed that the alcohol certainly got to him, because he then asks Trixie if she’s a virgin. I roll my eyes.

“Virginity is a heteronormative social construct” Trixie says. Keris and Trixie high five without looking at one another. Since that’s what Trixie’s true feelings are, the spell doesn’t force her to elaborate. 

Trixie picks Simon, and dares him to kiss Phillipa. She came back for eighth year, since her voice finally recovered enough to speak with magic. This seems like another prearranged agreement, if the way Phillipa’s blushing and looking down, trying not to seemed pleased as punch, is anything to go by. Simon places a polite, chaste kiss on her, and I watch for two people's reactions. Agatha doesn’t even blink (though she did roll her eyes at the dare, though I think that was more for Phillipa than Simon).

But Baz. Baz looks like he’s in physical pain, the alcohol diminishing his ability to hide under his usual mask. 

Merlin and Morgana, how have I been so blind?

Simon picks me and dares me to take three shots of whiskey in a row. “I know how much you love whiskey,” Simon says with a cheeky smile. I detest whiskey. I plug my nose, and quickly do them as everyone cheers. It makes me a little dizzy, and gives me just enough courage to do what I do next.

“Baz.” I say, with a plan in mind.

“I didn’t even want to play this stupid game, and now half the turns are mine.” He mutters darkly.

“Not my fault you’re so mysterious, Pitch. Truth or dare?” I ask challengingly.

“Dare.” He responds, quickly. I can tell he thinks I wanted him to pick truth. 

I didn’t. 

“I dare you to kiss the person in this circle you want to kiss the most.”

**Baz**

My stomach drops out from under me. I should have never come to this party. I should have skipped eighth year entirely. I should have never been born. 

Everyone’s laughing, and I feel my face flush, though I doubt anyone can really tell. Though if I was a human, I’d be bright red.

“That’s basically a Truth.” I say through gritted teeth. 

“Except it’s not.” Bunce says, with a Cheshire smile, and I don’t think I’ve ever given that girl credit for how truly savage she is, until now. Now I see she's a fucking piranha. “Kissing is still a dare, I just made it more interesting.”

I let my wand drop from my sleeve, and try to cast, “**stay in your lane**”, but it doesn’t work.

“No dice, Basilton,” Bunce says sweetly, slurring her words a little, highlighting the fact she just took three shots of whiskey in a row. “You’re second in the class." I don't correct her to tell her that I'm first, too angry to speak. "You have to know you can only cast that spell before someone does something prying, not after.”

I did know that. It was a desperate attempt to save my dignity.

The spell is pulling at me in my gut. Like the Crucible, it’s getting worse the more I resist. “Fuck.” I choke out involuntarily.

“Take the spell off him.” Dev growls. Niall, the only other person here who knows I’m gay, is glaring at her contemptuously. But they don’t know who I’m about to be forced to kiss, just that it'll be a boy. Nobody knows what’s about to happen. Everyone sure looks wildly interested though. It doesn’t help that I’m making such a scene.

“Can’t, sorry,” Penny says, unapologetically. “Spell won’t come off until you do it.”

I feel like I’m going to vomit. I don’t even care that I’m going to be outed. It’s not a secret, it’s just something I don’t bother advertising. What I do mind is that there’s only one person this spell can possibly be pulling me to.

Maybe I can cheat the spell? Snow is sitting between Bunce and Gareth. I could kiss one of them. It would be humiliating, but less devastating than kissing Snow in front of everyone. Bunce will work, I guess. I don’t want to have my first kiss with a girl, but even Bunce is better than Gareth with his damn belt buckle. 

I slowly walk over to her, the hook in my chest pulling me in that direction. I kneel in front of her, and I can hear everyone hold their breath.

**Simon**

Crowley, he’s about to kiss Penny. 

I really don’t want him to kiss Penny.

“She has a boyfriend, Baz.” I growl.

“Does it count if your boyfriend is an American? That’s just poor judgement.” It's not a good comeback. Plus, he tries to sound cutting but his voice is wobbling. I’ve never heard him like this. He sounds so... nervous.

“It’s okay, Simon. He’s not going to kiss me. Are you, Basil?” She says in a low voice, looking at him with a challenge in her eyes.

Baz closes his eyes and is shaking. Crowley, he looks scared. What could possibly scare Baz Pitch this badly?

I’m not even able to get to number one on a potential list of reasons he’s resisting this dare so much before his lips are on mine.

**Baz**

I’m going to have to light myself on fire after this. Well, I guess I had always planned to die kissing Simon Snow.

**Simon**

Either everything just went silent, or there’s nothing else in this world but me and Baz right now. 

This feels like one of our fights. He’s pushing against me roughly, so I push back, grabbing a fistful of his hair to close the distance that doesn’t even exist. He parts his lips in surprise, and I begin to explore his mouth with my tongue. I think he likes it, because his grip on my neck tightens. 

His lips are cold, and wet, and soft. He tastes like coconut rum and something else sweet and fruity. I didn’t take Baz as a girly drink type, but I also didn’t take him as a kissing blokes type.

I didn’t take myself as the kissing blokes type either, but here I am, kissing a boy. 

I’m kissing_ Baz._

And I think I _like_ it.

Aleister Fucking Crowley.

**Baz**

Simon is kissing me. And this isn’t a dream. Simon is kissing me back, in the middle of the Wavering Woods-

Fuck, we’re snogging in front of _everyone._

**Simon**

Suddenly, too suddenly, Baz pulls back. I fall forward, trying to keep his lips on mine, but his hands are holding my shoulders back.

We’re both panting, and staring at one another. For a moment, his eyes are full of emotion and vulnerability, before they shut down to their usual grey blankness. 

“Go fuck yourself, Bunce.” He snarls, and speeds out of the circle, out of the crowd, and into the darkness of the Wavering Woods before anyone can react. 

Everyone looks like they just got clubbed over the head with a crowbar. I reckon I look the same way. Agatha looks like she’s never seen me before.

The only person who doesn’t look surprised is Penny. 

Before anyone can regain their senses and make a shitty comment about what just happened, I grab her by the arm, and drag her away from the crowd. I wait until we’re out of hearing range, and round on her, “did you know that was going to happen?”

“**Eavesdroppers Never Hear Any Good of Themselves.**” Penny casts around us.

_“Penny_.” I urge.

“You’ll thank me later. Keris and Trixie wouldn’t be able to resist. They’re insufferably nosy gossips.” Penny responds with an eye roll.

“Penny.” I repeat, harshly, and she has the sense to look at least a little sheepish.

“Look, you weren’t going to figure it out yourself.” Penny says.

“Figure out what?” I ask, though I feel the answer is on the tip of my tongue.

“C’mon, Simon. You can’t say that felt anything like kissing Agatha.” Penny says meaningfully.

I really can’t. Kissing Agatha was always gentle, and soft, and innocent. It was nice, but it never really made me hungry for more. It never felt necessary, or urgent… it never felt….

Like gravity, and oxygen, and fire.

“Fuck!” I yell. 

“Yeah.” Penny says simply, catching my meaning without me having to say anything else.

“He’s going to kill me.” I say, with wide eyes. That’s what I was going to ask Baz, when I picked him. Whether he was going to kill me. Or how. Or when. But then he picked dare.

Well, I know when the ‘when’ is. Tonight.

“Baz doesn’t want to kill you, Simon.” Penny says softly, though with a more than a tinge of exasperation. “Are you forgetting why you kissed in the first place?”

I blink at her. My brain was so full I had forgotten Penny’s dare.

_‘I dare you to kiss the person in this circle you want to kiss the most.’_

“Crowley.” I say, and then start to laugh. 

* * *

**Baz**

I’m pacing rapidly back and forth across the room, trying to calm my rapid heartbeats. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alive.

I reckon I should be more appreciative of my undead status, because this alive thing does not feel good. I feel like there’s gasoline in my veins. Like Simon poured all of his golden light into me and then took it away just as fast.

There’s a reason I planned on kissing him right before he killed me. So that I wouldn’t have to feel what it was like to go cold after basking in his sunlight.

I make myself take deep, even breaths so I don’t have a panic attack. I sit on my bed, and stare at Snow’s messy one, and-

Fuck. My tipsy brain led me straight back here, even though that’s the first place Simon would look for me. I’m a fucking idiot.

I get up to leave, to hide somewhere else, anywhere else, when Snow walks into our bedroom.

I freeze like I’ve been caught committing a crime. Which, it feels like I have. On the sole count of being in love with Simon Snow, I am guilty as charged.

He looks surprised to see me, his lips parted and cheeks flushed. 

“I- I didn’t think you’d be here.” He stutters, flushing red.

“I live here, you moron.” I snap. I can’t resist the urge to be cruel, even though it’s in vain. He knows that it’s just a front, now. Not just him, either. Most of 8th year knows it’s just an act, and by tomorrow morning the whole school will be whispering “Baz Pitch is gay and he fancies Simon Snow”. My reputation is about to implode and I don’t think I have enough stoic indifference in me to handle making it to lunchtime without crying. 

"Oh, uh- well, yeah." He says, nodding fervently, like an overeager dog. "I just assumed you'd be… I don't know." he finishes.

"You don't know anything." I say, harshly, to cover my self-consciousness.

The room goes silent, and it's so uncomfortable I consider burning Mummer's Tower to the ground just to end it. Especially because I can't read his expression whatsoever. He has his head cocked, like maybe he's trying to figure me out. I hate the sensation of really being seen by Snow, like he’s breaking down my walls and defenses with his blue eyes. I move to leave the room, and maybe never come back, but he blocks the exit.

"Wait, Baz." he says, with his arms outstretched to stop me from leaving the room. 

"Get the fuck out of my way, Snow." I growl. 

"No," he says, and juts his chin out in that sexy stubborn way that accents his jawline. "We need to talk about what just happened."

“We most certainly do not.” I insist, sneering with disdain.

“Yeah, we do, Baz.” Simon says, and his eyes blaze in a way that tells me I’m not getting out of this with false ferocity.

"Well, nothing happened. The spell must have been faulty," I say, too quickly and too guiltily. It's such a pathetic lie that even Snow wouldn't buy if it were free.

"Penny's spells are never faulty," he says, sounding offended on her behalf. 

"Well, there's a first time for everything," I reply, and he narrows his eyes. "I'm first in the class, I can do a counterspell."

"Uh-huh." He says with a glint in his eyes that makes me anxious, "So you weren't compelled by the spell. You just kissed me because you wanted to?"

Fuck. He has me here.

“The spell backfired.” I say, changing course.

“Baz, I know you think I’m thick, but seriously,” he growls, and it breaks my resolve.

"Okay, fine, fine!" I say angrily, knowing I'm well cornered. "Penny's spell worked perfectly, okay? I couldn't break the damn spell!" The words keep tumbling out of me, and I can't stop them. "I wanted to, okay? I always want to kiss you!”

Silence, again. Crowley, there's been a million awkward silences since the first day of first year, but never like this. Never because I've embarrassed myself- it's always because Snow has. I'm not loving this role reversal, and I feel a flicker of sympathy for the amount of times I've made him feel this way. So small and dejected and mortified.

But then Snow does something I don't expect. He smiles.

"Cool." He says, happily.

My brain can't think of anything to say other than "What?".

"I like you wanting to kiss me better than you wanting to hit me." He shrugs.

I never pegged Snow for being this egotistical. I scowl. "Well, I'm glad this suits your fancy." I say, my voice dripping with bitter sarcasm. “I see you're just so eager to rack up admirers. Got a list of all of them, Chosen One?" 

I spit out Chosen One like it's a curse, and Snow's satisfied smile is wiped from his face and replaced with a deep frown. “Don’t be like that, Baz.”

“Like what? Angry that your daft best friend outed me in front of the entire 8th year? Annoyed that you’ve come here to gloat about it afterwards? Sick of your face, day in and day out? You’re such a fucking idiot, Snow.” I spit out as cruelly as I can manage.

Snow throws his hands up, exasperated. “I think I’m going crazy. I want to snog a complete git.”

What did he just say? 

Is the room spinning? I think the room is spinning.

Snow is lunging at me and out of instinct I start to say ‘Anathema’, but I don’t get the full word out before he’s kissing me.

**Simon**

I just need him to shut up. I’m no good with words, but I think if I just keep snogging him he’ll get it.

**Baz**

It’s even better than the first time, because I know the pull in my gut isn’t a spell. It’s just Simon’s magnetism.

_Why is he doing this? Can he really feel the same way? Is he just bored? Horny since him and Wellbelove broke up? Why, why, why-_

No, no thinking. I’m just going to feel. I don’t know if I’ll ever get this again. 

His hands are tugging at my hair so tightly it would hurt if his lips on mine didn’t feel so good. I wrap my arms around his waist and lift him a little, erasing our three inch height difference. He surprises me by wrapping his legs around my waist and squeezing tightly. I moan into his mouth because for once there’s nothing between us- no war, no rivalry, no anything- just our two bodies melding into one. I carry him to his bed, and when I drop him on it he looks surprised, and disappointed, until I straddle him and go back to kissing his soft lips. 

**Simon**

Baz Pitch is on top of me, and I'm not afraid, because I've finally got him right where I want him.

I grab him by his long hair, and yank on it. His head falls back in a gasp, and I reach for his neck with my mouth. I lick from the base of his neck to his earlobe and I feel him shudder. I smile at the fact that I can make him react like that before I start sucking and biting his long neck. He whimpers, so I don't stop. I wonder if his skin can bruise, whether he'll have a love bite tomorrow that I can stare at, a sign marking "_Simon was here._"

Suddenly, Baz pulls back, as if I've startled him. His eyes go wide and frantic, and I worry I've done something wrong. He was liking that, right? He tries to pull away, but I'm worried that if he leaves now I'll never be able to get him back. That he'll lie and jeer and bluff his way out of what just happened between us. Try to trick me into thinking I've just imagined the magic between us. 

I wrap my arms around his waist and sit up to ask him what's wrong, and when I do, I feel the bulge in his pants. He stiffens the moment I realize, and he looks away from me, embarrassed.

I take this moment, the first moment I’ve caught Baz Pitch totally unguarded, to flip him over so I’m on top of him now. I rip the T-shirt I’ve borrowed from Rhys off my head before I roll my hips so that our groins grind together and he lets out a loud involuntary moan that is so erotic that I feel myself getting hard too.

**Baz**

My wet dreams are getting uncommonly vivid. I think that’s the only explanation for why Simon Snow is dry humping me right now. I thought he’d be disgusted with me when he realized how much I want him, how I want him, but he just got on top of me and kissed me even harder. I think he’s going to bruise me with how roughly he’s kissing me.

He goes to bite my neck again. I think he could tell how much I liked it, because he grins against my skin when he hears my long drawn out moan and moves his hips even quicker. 

“Snow,” I pant when he bites my earlobe so hard it makes me shudder.

“Yeah?” He says, pulling back with a cocky grin. He begins to unbutton my shirt without breaking eye contact. 

“Shut up,” I reply instinctively, though a little shakily. 

“You’re the one who talked, Baz.” Simon replies, and he’s rubbing my stomach after he’s gotten the last of my buttoned undone. His grin is positively wicked now. The bastard is enjoying how badly I want him. 

Well, two can play at this game.

**Simon**

For a split second, I think Baz is going to bite me. His eyes go dark, and I recognize the look he’s giving me. I call it his Plotting My Murder Look. I’ve seen it on him a thousand times- across the dining call, in classrooms, when I come out of the bathroom ready for bed. 

He just rolls us over so he’s on top again. At first, as he’s sucking a hickey into my neck, I think he’s just changed positions because he’s a bloody control freak. But then his kisses go lower, lower, lower. He’s already at my belly button when I realize what he’s about to do, and my hips buck involuntarily. He gives me an arrogant smirk.

“Patience, Snow.” He says teasingly, and I whine. I’m embarrassed by the noise, until I see Baz’s eyes darken again and- _oh, is this what lust looks like on Baz?_\- he resumes kissing my stomach wetly.

He moves for my trouser zipper, but pauses, and looks up at me for permission. It’s a sight- Baz Pitch asking for my approval to suck my dick- and I want to tease him for it, but I’m afraid if I do he’ll storm out. So I just frantically nod, not trusting my voice right now.

When he’s gotten my trousers undone, I lift my hips and he pulls them off quickly. He mouths at my pants while looking me directly in the eye, and I whine again. “Baz” I say, and I mean for my voice to come out forceful, but it comes out begging. 

Mercifully, he doesn’t stop to be sarcastic or ask me to be patient. He pulls my pants down and grabs my prick and I gasp. No one’s ever touched me like this before. He licks me from the base to the tip, still not breaking eye contact, and it’s downright pornographic. Then he’s sucking on the tip and I throw my head back at the wave of pleasure that starts at my toes and works its way up my body in waves. I know I’m being loud, but I can’t even bring myself to care when Baz starts bobbing his head on my dick.

I briefly wonder if he’s done this before, since he seems to really know what he’s doing, but I push that thought out of my head as soon as it arrives. I can already feel the hot waves of jealousy at the thought of Baz with someone else, and I don’t want anything to ruin this, this first time with Baz.

For now, I’m just enjoying how much Baz knows what he’s doing.

**Baz**

I don’t know what I’m doing.

But the way Snow’s writhing and moaning beneath me, you’d think I was a damned pro. Maybe Wellbelove wasn’t very good. I push that thought out of my head quickly, not wanting to think of Wellbelove, not wanting to think of Snow with anyone else right now, just wanting to watch Snow unravel underneath me.

His face right now… the noises he’s making… it’s hot and unbelievable. I feel my cock throbbing every time another beautiful sound comes out of his mouth, and I’m grinding my hips into the mattress despite myself. Especially when I realize he’s not just moaning unintelligible words. He’s moaning my name, over and over, like a prayer. It makes me moan in response, and he gasps and jerks his hips up so quickly it hits the back of my throat and I gag.

“Sorry, sorry,” He says, and brushes my hair back. “That was… fuck.”

**Simon**

Baz smirks at my apologies and puts his mouth back on me. His hair is so soft, I run my hands through it, gathering it in a ponytail on the crown of his head. I think he likes it because he moans around me again, and I can’t help the words that come out of my mouth, “oh, Baz, Baz, Baz, oh fuck… you're gunna make me come, I'm gunna come-”

I try to pull him off me but he just starts bobbing his head faster. When he makes eye contact with me, I come with his name on my lips, clutching his silky hair. And then- Merlin- he swallows, licking his lips when he comes off of me.

I pull him towards me by the collar of his unbuttoned shirt. He makes a surprised noise before his lips go pliant against mine, sinking into the searing kiss.

I’ve never felt this way before. Bubbling like a bottle of champagne. Like I’ve been filled with sunlight from the inside out. Like every part of my body Baz has touched has been struck by benevolent lightning. 

I pull away to look into his grey eyes, and realize they aren’t the flat gray of pavement I had always thought they were, but a stunning blue grey, like the Atlantic Ocean at midnight. His eyes are a question and an answer, I realize as the euphoria of tonight hits me at full force.

Maybe this is the post-coital bliss people are talking about. 

Or maybe I’m just in love with Baz Pitch.

**Baz**

Simon’s looking at me… he’s looking at me like I hang the moon.

**Simon**

It takes a moment for me to come down from this earth shattering revelation, but when I do, I realize I haven’t gotten Baz off yet.

I reach for his trouser zipper, but he bats my hand away. 

“I’m sorry,” I say nervously, “you don’t want me to…?”

“No it’s just, I already…” he trails off sheepishly, and I’m shocked at the amount of times I’ve seen Baz embarrassed tonight. It’s considerably more times than I had seen yesterday, which was zero.

The idea of Baz Pitch getting off on getting me off is so hot I almost get hard again. Though it does make me curious...

“Wait, have you ever done this before?” I ask before thinking about it.

“Hooked up with my roommate and long-time enemy? No, I’d have to say this is a first,” he responds viciously. 

“No. Have you done this,” I motion between the two of us with my eyebrows raised, “before?”

“Yes,” he responds too defensively for it to be true.

“It’s okay if you haven’t.” I whisper. “That was my first time, too.”

He’s quiet for a moment. Then, he nods. It’s not much of a concession, but I smile anyways. His lips upturn slightly, like he doesn’t mean to. Then he gets up and walks over to his side of the room. 

“Where are you going?” I ask, worried that he’s going to go to his side of the room and act like this was some far-fetched dream in the morning. He cocks one of his dark eyebrows at me, before reaching over to his bedside table for his wand.

“I’m going to spell myself clean. Got a problem with that, Snow?” He responds, back to his Pitch swagger, like he didn’t just cum with his lips on my cock.

“Simon,” I respond.

“What?” 

“My name is Simon.” I say. “Now, c'mere.”

Baz gives me a searching look. He mutters something under his breath and the wet spot on his trousers disappears. He walks over to my bed slowly, like he’s trying not to spook me. I move to make room for him, pulling back the covers. He climbs in tentatively.

**Baz**

I don’t know what’s happening right now.

I crawl into Snow’s bed, and he lets out a contented sigh. He throws his arms around me, and mumbles “good night”, before promptly passing out. 

"Good night, Simon." I whisper, once the evenness of his breathing tells me he's asleep.

I stay awake for hours, watching his chest rise and fall gently, appreciating the chance to catalogue his moles up close. There’s one on his left hip bone I discovered tonight and I recognize that I’ll never be able to unknow that. Eventually I drift off, feeling warm and cozy for once in Simon’s arms.

* * *

I wake before opening my eyes, and I can immediately feel I’m not in my bed. It’s a strange sensation- knowing you’re not where you’re supposed to be. My biggest hint is that it’s not cold in the room for once. There’s always a breeze in the room because Snow, without fail, always, manages to open it before I wake up. He’s relentless that way.

Second hint I’m not where I’m supposed to be: there’s another person wrapped around me. Or more accurately, a human furnace wrapped around me. There’s only one person I know that’s this hot.

My eyes flick open quickly, and see Simon Snow drooling on his pillow, his face only inches away from mine. The events of last night flash through my mind in rapid succession- the party, the game, the kiss, giving Simon Snow a blowjob. Crowley. 

Was Snow just drunk last night? He didn’t seem drunk. Though I did taste vodka on his breath. Will he remember this? Sleeping with me? I’ll never forget it. Did he just want to get some? Fuck, I hope not. 

Maybe I should get up before he does. His rejection will sting less if I put more physical distance between us. But he’s weaved himself around me like an overgrown vine. His leg is stuck between mine, and both his arms are around my neck. My hand is resting just below his hip, so I’m almost but not quite gripping his arse.

I should move, but I really don’t want to move. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and there’s a part of me that likes this even better than all the sexual touching we did last night. His rancid morning breath and all. I’m so far gone.

After ten minutes of agonizing, I finally get up, because I need to shower. I may have spelled my cum away last night, but I still feel sticky. Simon whines a little at the loss of contact, and it makes my heart soar. I turn towards the bathroom without looking back before I do something stupid, like kiss him awake.

**Simon**

I awake to the sound of the shower turning on. It’s too hot in the room. I usually wake up from nightmares in the middle of the night and open the window after Baz has fallen asleep, but my dreams were all peaceful last night. 

I shouldn’t have expected Baz to linger in bed with me. I highly doubt he’s the type to wake me up with a kiss and a “good morning, darling”. It bothers me more than I’d like to admit that he didn’t stay. 

I get up when I notice the time, and start to get dressed. Breakfast started half an hour ago, and Penny’s already going to be teasing me relentlessly for being late. I just want to roll around and be happy boyfriends with Baz, but if he doesn’t want that, I don’t want him to see how badly it would hurt me. So, I leave.

I shut the door just as I hear the water shut off.

**Baz**

Snow is gone when I come out of the shower. I try to pretend I’m not disappointed he bolted the minute he woke up, but it’s hard to lie to myself when the sinking sensation in my gut is making me feel physically ill. Which is saying something, since vampires don’t get sick.

I think if he tries to ‘no homo’ this, I’ll set us both on fire.

I want to hide all day, but I have football practice, and I’ll be damned if I’m caught skipping practice to sulk in the Catacombs. 

I want to spell myself invisible when I walk out of Mummer’s and feel everyone’s stares piercing me from every direction. But Pitches aren’t cowards, so I ignore everyone, gluing on my worst sneer and strutting down to the dining hall with my shoulders back.

I open the dining room door with an **Open Sesame**. If I’m going to be the center of attention, I’m going to do it in style. I feel Snow’s eyes on me, but I ignore him. His magic rolls off him in waves, and it’s all aimed at me. If I hadn’t had him on my tongue last night, it would have probably gotten me instantly drunk. But I’ve built a resistance to Snow- his magic, not his charms- so I’m able to look unaffected, unlike a group of third year girls who are giggling to my left. 

When I sit down with Dev and Niall, they are both trying to seem nonchalant, but sneaking me curious glances. I can tell they want to ask me about last night, but pick up on the tension I think I’m just managing to hide from everyone else, so they start talking about the World Cup, instead. Good men.

When we make it to the football pitch, I brace myself to instantly get shit from the other boys. Everyone’s certainly still staring, but I guess I look formidable enough to prevent most people from commenting on last night’s revelation.

That is, until Snow shows up at our practice. 

**Simon**

Baz is such a dramatic git. He waltzes into the dining hall without sparing me a glance like he didn’t sleep in my arms last night. No matter how much I shamelessly stared, he wouldn’t look at me.

“Okay, Simon, I’ve waited long enough,” Penny says, after Baz has been in the dining hall for exactly three minutes. Before he showed up, I was just eating rapidly without looking up at all. Penny asked if I was okay as soon as I walked in, but I blew her off a bit. 

“Eating with a thousand eyes on you is sure to make any bloke too nervous to speak.” I reply, noncommittally. 

“Yeah, cool,” Penny says quickly, “did you and Baz have sex last night?”

I choke on my orange juice. 

“P-Penny!” I splutter, uncomfortable with both the questions and the feeling of everyone's eyes on me, “you’re causing a scene!”

“Whatever,” she whispers loudly, ”did you?”

“I- I need another scone,” I stutter, but I get up and walk straight out of the dining hall to Mummer’s tower, hoping to catch Baz before practice. We have to talk.

But he doesn’t come back. The asshole always comes back to change in here instead of the locker room, but not today. 

Well, I do love watching him play football, after all.

I make my way down to the Pitch, and I can smell my own nervous magic radiating off of me. I sit in the stands, and I’m the only one there. I see all the boys huddled up below. Baz stands out to me because of his height and dark hair and- okay, he stands out to me because he’s Baz, and I can always find him in any crowd.

When the huddle breaks, all the boys get to their positions. Baz notices me first, looking startled by my presence, but soon everyone has taken note of me watching their practice. I feel myself flush. I haven’t gone to their practices since fifth year. Sure, I’m at every game, but I only stalked Baz to the point of going to practices when I thought he might be plotting something at them. (Though, in hindsight, I think I just wanted to see him in a ponytail and football shorts. He looks so damn good running around the field.)

Maybe I should have thought this through.

**Baz**

When Coach is done assigning us teams and throwing us our colored jerseys, we get into position. I notice Simon immediately, sitting three bleachers up. I hear Dev snort, but when I turn to give him a glare, his face is impassive. I narrow my eyes at him and the corner of his lips go up a little. I huff and take my position as the forward.

The game’s going pretty well, actually. Seeing Snow in the stands always does give me an extra kick, some surplus fire. Part of me secretly liked that he came to all of our practices in fifth year. A quarter into the game, I’ve already single-handedly scored two goals. When I score my third, I unconsciously send a smile in Simon’s direction.

“Showing off for your girlfriend, Pitch?” A rough voice from behind me sneers. It’s Royce Sterling, a burly, stupid seventh year defender who was at the party last night. He’s failed to block any of my goals thus far.

I send him a glare, and say, “not my fault you’re a lousy centre-back.” I jog away from him to keep playing the game.

A couple of minutes later, I’ve got the ball back, and Royce Sterling is trying to block me. I fake left, and he falls for it, so when I kick the ball to the right, I make my fourth goal of the game. 

“Faggot.” Royce spits out, and my blood runs cold. I turn to him, and I feel my face go murderously blank.

“What did you just say?” I demand in a low voice. 

“Faggot,” Royce says again, as the game is continuing on without us, though a few boys who heard the slur have stopped to watch. He glances over my shoulder, to where I know Snow was sitting. “Did you go back to your room to fuck the Chosen One afterwards? I bet he bottoms, the little pussy-”

I barely have time to remind myself not to use all my vampire strength when I punch him in the face. His nose is gushing blood as he retaliates, pushing me onto the ground. He lands one good punch at my eye before I get the upper hand, flipping him so I can punch him in the face again.

I don’t know how many times I punch him before Niall pulls me off him. I can barely hear Coach’s shrill loud whistles over the raging ringing in my ears. “Break it up, boys! What’s the matter?”

“Call me a faggot again,” I spit out to Royce, who's crying and covering his face below me, “or talk about Simon again, and I’ll break more than just your nose.”

Coach sends a fiery look to Royce, and tells him he'll deal with him after he's seen the nurse. He tries to get me to go for my black eye, but I insist I don’t need to. Coach cancels practice for the day, and I head to the locker rooms with the team. Dev and Niall are ranting about what a prat Royce is, and saying that if he insults me again they’ll re-break his nose for him. It’s nice to have their support, but my head is elsewhere.

There is really no playing it cool now that I've punched a bloke for insulting Snow. 

I tell Dev and Niall that I want to take a shower. They give me curious looks, since I never want to shower in here, but I need a longer break from Snow. I take my time, letting the hot water warm me, and try to think of anything but Simon Snow. I'm not successful, but by the time I'm finished, I'm the last boy in the locker room. I'm just slipping my jumper over my head when I hear the locker door open. I turn, and it's Snow, headed towards me with a look of concern.

"Are you okay?" he says, worried. He reaches for my face, and then catches himself, and lets his arm hang awkwardly in front of him instead. 

"I'm fine, Snow." I say. He's so close to me that I can't help but have memories of last night running through my head. 

"You called me Simon before." He says softly.

"I most certainly did not." I insist.

"You did, last night. When you thought I was asleep." He says, jutting his chin out stubbornly.

"What do you want?" I ask bluntly. I can't think straight with him standing just six inches from my face. 

"I heard why you punched Royce. Gareth told me." He shifts awkwardly from foot to foot. "Are you mad at me for coming to your practice?"

I feel my brows furrow. "Why would I be mad?"

"Um-" he says, nervously. "Did I make it worse? I didn't mean to make it worse."

This noble git is going to be the death of me. I sigh, and say, "No, I'm sure it would've happened either way."

"I think we should talk." Simon says, biting his lip.

I brace myself for rejection, and say, as neutrally as I can manage, "okay."

"So…" he starts and takes a deep breath. "I don't know what you think last night meant, but, uh…"

"Spit it out, Snow." I snarl, wanting the _'it was just a drunken one night stand'_ speech to be over as soon as possible.

"I'm in love with you." he says so quickly it sounds like one word. _I'minlovewithyou_.

"What?" I say stupidly.

"Um, I don't know what you want, or if you even really want me, or what, but, um, do you want to be boyfriends?" Snow says earnestly.

**Simon**

Gareth said that he was standing there, and Baz didn't punch Royce until he insulted me. That must mean he fancies me, and doesn't just want to snog me, yeah?

I'm afraid I might be wrong, because Baz is looking at me like I've just grown wings and a tail. 

Fuck, did I fuck this up by being too forward?

"Um, unless you don't want to, uh, then, that's, uh-" I start stammering, panicking that I've made a grave mistake. That is, until he shuts me up by putting his lips on mine. 

It's as good as it has been every time. Every nerve in my body lights on fire and there's a pull at my chest, like my heart wants to beat out of my body and into his. I see why they call it falling in love, because my knees are weak. Too soon- though, realistically, it's been a while- he pulls back.

"You're an idiot, Simon," Baz says, but his tone is fond.

I smile wide. "Is that a yes?"

He rolls his eyes, and kisses me again as his answer.

* * *

**Baz**

Simon rolls his eyes and tells me I'm too dramatic when I suggest it, but I do it anyways. 

"**Open sesame**," I cast, and the door of the dining hall whips open. 

Every head turns when Simon Snow and I come in, holding hands. His sidekick isn’t down for dinner, yet, so he comes with me to sit with Dev and Niall.

For a moment, no one says anything. Simon breaks the silence, “oh fuck, I forgot they were having roast beef today! How did I forget that?" He's getting up eagerly like he's terribly late for an important meeting.

"You memorize the dinner schedule? You're an animal." I sneer at him, and he smiles.

"Be right back. Want me to get you anything?" Simon says jovially. I raise an eyebrow at him, and he says, "I'll get you something." Then, he kisses me on the cheek- I'm thankful I haven't fed today so no one sees my blush- and runs off to the buffet line.

I take a sip of my tea while Dev and Niall gape at me.

"Okay, mate, will you tell us now?" Niall says. 

"Oh," I say casually, "we're together now."

"Okay, obviously." Dev says, "How?"

"Me," Penelope Bunce says with a smirk, and sits down beside the empty spot where Simon just was. 

“No,” I scowl at her. 

“C’mon, no need for bitterness, Basil. All's well that ends well.” She says with a smile, as Simon sits down with too much food for a human on one plate and not enough food for a human on the other. It’s exactly what I would have gotten if I had gotten up.

“Snow,” I say slowly, “how did you know exactly what I would have picked to eat?”

“I spend a lot of time staring at you,” He says, unselfconsciously, with his mouth full of food.

“Gross,” Penny says.

“Totally,” Niall agrees. I roll my eyes. 

“I bet you Baz knows what I would eat, too.” Simon insists.

“Everyone knows what you would eat. Double of everything, and a tub of butter.”

Simon grins, and makes my point by piling butter onto his potatoes. “You’re truly disgusting,” I say, failing to keep the affection out of my voice.

“You love me,” He says, teasingly.

I smile at him. I can't deny it, because I do. I really do.

I told him, when we got back to our room to do more than just snog. That I love him, too. That I thought loving him would kill me. He kissed me so hard after that I was sure he'd bend the laws of nature and give a vampire a bruise. 

"Yeah," I say, "But I'm not paying for the hospital bill when you get admitted for never before seen cholesterol levels."

"Yes you will. That's what posh rich boyfriends do." He says smugly.

I sigh, because he's right. I'd definitely pay it in a heartbeat if it meant Simon was okay.

"Hey," he smirks at my resigned expression, and says without magic, "don't hate the player, hate the game."

I roll my eyes. I think I'm starting to like that phrase.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://annabellelux.tumblr.com)
> 
> check out some lovely art inspired by this fic [here](https://knitbelove.tumblr.com/post/188905413077/doodle-inspired-by-dont-hate-the-player-hate)
> 
> Edit: I’ve gotten a few comments & I want to clear some things up. I understand that Penny’s actions in real life would be very, very wrong. I think she is canonically sort of careless with people’s feelings if she thinks she’s doing the right thing, and she is very drunk here. She’s not intending to be malicious or hurt Baz & Simon.  
Baz isn’t actively hiding his sexuality here, just not public about it. He’s not embarrassed or upset about people knowing he’s gay; he’s embarrassed that people know he fancies Simon (until he realizes Simon fancies him back).  
I’m queer myself & understand that stories with any kinda of outing are difficult; that’s why I have the trigger warnings in my beginning notes. I was writing this with inspiration of being younger & having my friends dare me to kiss my crushes during Truth or Dare, and intended this to be a version of that for Simon & Baz (with more angst and less communication, because they’re Simon & Baz.)  
I understand if you still don’t enjoy this story after this explanation, but please be kind in the comments or don't comment.


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